hellokittster's Journal
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| Monday, August 1st, 2005 | | 8:47 pm |
goodbye journal
Well, to put things exact, i wont be writing in my journal anymore. not that i really wrote in it anyways. i got my journal because i was too self conscious to actually talk to people i cared about. its not that i didnt have anyone to listen, i just didnt want to talk to them. instead of having deep conversations with people, i blew it off and got drunk and acted like everything was ok but in reality, i was really sad and i wrote in my journal to get back at someone, while he did nothing to deserve it, i had to make it seem like i was having the time of my life so that he wouldnt think that i stayed home and cried while he went out and partied every single night. i knew he would read it, because he cared about me. i think its fucked up to write in your journals about how your friends piss u off and who u hate and how sad u are, because if you have a problem with someone, you should just go up to them and tell them. and if your sad, then fix your problems and be happy. another point- why should i type up my life story so that everyone can read it, but if its supposedly "my friends" that read it, shouldnt they already know whats going on with my life? and if i need a shoulder to cry on, im gonna go to the people that are there for me, im not gonna find comfort in writing all this shit down on the internet so that complete strangers can read it. well anyways, i dont NEED my journal anymore because i know that the people who really care about my life are the people who actually know me and someone reading my journal on the internet, obviously doesnt know me. Current Mood:  accomplishedCurrent Music: ludacris | | Thursday, June 30th, 2005 | | 2:07 pm |
CA
California was so much fun!!! i really like the school that i went to visit....but i dont think i will go there. its in downtown LA and kinda...creepy lol. the beach was so warm!!! my feet actually got sunburned with is like hecka weird. i met a girl from minnesota at my college thingy! and we became friends. she is soooo adorable and she has the cutest accent. she sounds just like josh only..like its way thicker lol i love it. i bought some really cute stuff!!!! AHH and some REALLY cute purses lol yes.... and NOW since im back at work, hannah started working again!!! its going to be so awesome lol WELL tonight...me and brit and erica are going out! first time in awhile im goin out lol mostly because school is done, and my trip is over so i dont have to work as much or go to school...ever!!!!!!!!! its awesome. this summer is looking pretty excellent. i just wish it would get warmer so i can go in joshua's pool and sun tan..(burn wishing it was a tan) WELLLLLLL pretty soon, me and k trunk and sexy flea bitch are gonna have a girl partay!!! and get really dressed up FUN TIMES. AND next week im gonna go check out Jessica and Jordans new house they are renting! i bought them a present in CA its a pitcher. lol now they can make really good juice or lemonade or something.... k well im getting bored of typing. PEACE OUT Current Mood:  cheerfulCurrent Music: destinys child | | Wednesday, June 15th, 2005 | | 3:13 pm |
SCHOOL= DONE ALMOST
today was the seniors last day:( it really was sad! i cant wait to be a senior but now all of my senior friends are gone!!!!!!! and my last day of regular school is tomorrow!!!!!! once again...that is sad. i get to miss finals:) but i have to make them up in the summer...oh well lol IM SO EXCITED FOR CALI I REALLLLLLLLY CANT WAIT!!! the only thing is that i will miss my joshua so much! ive never gone more than 3 days without seeing him:( :( :( joshua- you better not change much while im gone (u better have that pic ready for me by the time i get back ;-)) lol i love you so much!!!!!! i know i wont be gone for THAT long but AHHH its a sad thought. ill just bring a can of axe with me so that i can smell him lol and my pillow..aka cushion ( he likes to trick me ) WELL all i can say is that i will have a blast in LA and LAGUNA BEACH but dont have too much fun here without me ;-). WHEN I GET BACK I GET TO GO TO JESSICA AND JORDANDS NEW HOUSE!!!!!!!! i cant wait for that.AND I GET TO SEE BRIT AGAIN....AND......IT WILL BE SUMMER. hmmmm life is awesome i freaking love summer. all my plans this summer are so SWEET!! and then CAITLIN comes up to visit!!!! Current Mood:  awakeCurrent Music: JESSICA SIMPSON | | Sunday, June 5th, 2005 | | 7:31 pm |
bless me with your beauty....ur a cutie
MY TRAVELING PLANS FOR THE NEXT....YEAR ISH I LOVE TO TRAVEL!!!!!!! ok so i dunno how many days it is...but on the 18th im going to LA and LAGUNA BEACH!!!! and yea im really excited:) i get to visit the college im most likely gonna go to. ummm laguna beach has got to be the coolest place in the world. maybe ill see LC!!! who is my favorite:) THEN...IN NOVEMBER im going to Europe with my sister!! that will be SO MUCH FUN. were gonna stay in England and then go to like France and stuff like that. ill be there for a few weeks:) THEN.... next spring break im going to Sandiego!!!!! to stay with Caitlin... HEELLLLLL YAAAAAAA my first spring break vacation without a parent loll hahahah sad........ but REALLY AWESOME. Current Mood:  tiredCurrent Music: Jessica Simpson | | Monday, May 30th, 2005 | | 11:38 am |
come spit off bridges with meeeeeeee
WELL ONCE AGAIN ITS SUMMER. i am extremely excited. I'm mostly excited because well, last summer i thought was the best summer ever. but now i see how much effed up stuff happened, and it was all a waste of my time. I'm as of now forgetting about everything. Im just so amazed at how much everything has changed. i saw a 'FRIEND' yesterday...she walked right past me without even saying hi. and she considers herself a friend? thats one thing that is so effed up about being a teenager. you never know who is really there for you. and who isnt. well now that i know...im glad. because i should have listened to what everyone else told me. Im glad i changed my entire circle of friends (besides brit) because now i know how friends really are. they dont try to manipulate you, or DITCH YOU, or blame you for every single thing, well for two summers in a row i have made bad choices about a certain someone. but im not going to do it ever again. i finally see how insensitive and immature she is. and i wish i would have listened to all my otehr friends. instead of wasting time, that could have been spent with people that actually care about me. this year has been really really really good. ive made tons of new friends and learned alot about myself at the same time. ok just so u people know... i dont like hate everyone i used to be friends with. Schouvi- i know we have grown apart and we have changed. it seems like we dont have anything in common anymore but i really think u are an awesome person. i admire how u arent afraid to be yourself. that is a very good thing to be able to do. even tho we dont hang out anymore, ive never had a problem with you.... im glad your best friends with komenda because she is a sweet ass girl just like you:) Brit- pretty much my best friend since 1st grade. i know we get mad at eachother occasionally lol but your one of the only people i can relate to. and i love you so much. hahaha we have helped eachother out a lot and it sucks u dont go to school with me anymore but we can still chill...i love you pph!!! lol nobody could ever take your place. im so glad your my best friend because i always feel like i can count on you NO MATTER WHAT. Erica- im glad were hanging out again. best friends in 6th grade.... lol your just as funny as u were then lol GOOD TIMES WHOOOT I CANT BELIEVE WE STOPPED HANGING OUT FOR 3 YEARS what the eff?????? JOSHUA- I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. ive never had such a good relationship:) your the sweetest guy in the whole entire world. we've had so many good times together and i cant wait to see all the rest. your the only boy who really understands me. i feel like i can tell you anything and ur such a nerd lol youve made this year amazing for me. summer will be the best with u!!!!! MAL- YOU ARE A TIGHT ASS ROWER!!! AND IM GLAD WERE OBSESSED WITH HELLO KITTY TOGETHER. you are the most hilariouslyist person ever. lunch time wouldnt be the same without u gurrrrrl. I LOVE YOU ---These are the people that i have known forever... and that i love....dearly......------ Current Mood:  happyCurrent Music: ice cube ..... | | Thursday, May 26th, 2005 | | 3:23 pm |
baby
YESS ME AND BRIT ARE GOOD AGAIN. WERE HANGING OUT TOMORROW:) I GOT MY BABY MAMA BACK. LIFE IS GOOD LIFE IS GOOD. | | Tuesday, May 24th, 2005 | | 3:12 pm |
slow down never seen anything so LOVELY
So!!! JOSH put my new cd player in my car. ALL ON HIS OWN. ITS SO AWESOME. anyways. BRIT-has gone to Avanti:( :( i know she doesnt think so...but i really do miss her....its not the same having classes without her. we have always had are classes together. and...we haven't been hanging out much lately. I really want that to change. but i dont know how to even go about doing it. It seems like everyone just changes. and things have to change as well as people. but i dont want it to be like that. we used to be so much alike. but i think we both are changing. does that mean that us being BEST friends has to? I Guess college is in a year, and everyones going to be going different places. that really scares me:( thats going to be the hardest thing ever leaving people. me and britney have been best friends since 1st grade! shes literally the only friend ive had that i have a million inside jokes with..that nobody else understands,we alwayas have so much fun together and shes basically the only girl i can be around and not feel like a big nerd. i could laugh for hours with her. I hope stuff doesnt change too much...i have a lot of really good people in my life right now and im really thankful i just dont want her out of it. EVER Current Mood:  artisticCurrent Music: Mariah Carey | | Monday, May 16th, 2005 | | 8:56 pm |
what it is hoe
Anyone who knows me...knows that i have serious road rage problems. so i came up with a new plan!!! everytime someone does something nice for me while driving.. i do something nice for them too! isnt that a sweet idea. lol yea and after awhile it will be so natural to do nice things that i wont get angry at people driving anymore. i have some really awesome pics on my computer but i dont know how to put them on here!!! theres one josh toook of me and he calls me grandma...cuz i have my glasses on really low..and i guess i look old..whatever id rather look old than like a 5 year old. im having a garage sale this weeekend. cool huh. and im reorganizing my room cuz im sick of the same old way it looks. Current Mood: awakeCurrent Music: ying yang twins-wait | | Sunday, May 15th, 2005 | | 8:15 pm |
ERICA=HOME AKA NOT EVEN A MILE AWAY FROM ME
so friday after the car crash... lol it really not that bad hah anyways....i went to work. then i got off and went home and got dressed and went to crystals for Stacy's partayyyy we watched porn and drank cosmopolitans then we went and got margarita mix and made margaritas. lol it was hella tight US LADIES HAVE TO HAVE THE FUNNEST TIMES EVER even when we dont do much its hilarious lol saturday i worked all day. then hung out with my MAN joshua..it was fun we watched baseball and he fell asleep. lol then we drove home and i sang the whole way!!!! anyways it was fun we saw a lightning storm. this weekend is gonna rock!!!! i get the weekend off:) so ill seee joshua...and partay with my home girls and do my garage sale!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSS i feel a lot better now because i kind of got over stuff:( i mean i guess oh well about my car...life goes on. ill just have to sing alot more in my car...cuz i have no way to produce tunes. well....PEACE OUT | | Saturday, May 14th, 2005 | | 9:55 am |
oh dang
so yesterday i got in a car accident....nobody is hurt. and it was barely like anything but the people freaked out because i got a TINY SCRATCH ON THEIR EFFING CAR...AND IT WASNT EVEN THEIR CAR IT WAS THE LADIES EX HUSBAND. FREAKING IDIOTS. | | Thursday, May 12th, 2005 | | 3:30 pm |
badbadbadbad
so ya i didn't think so many bad things could happen in one day. first of all...i get in a fight with my sister before school cuz she is being dumb and wouldnt let me borrow a shirt...but yet she thinks its ok to go in my room and spy through my stuff....and then i get in my car and WOW ITS ALL MESSED UP! maybe its because someone broke in...ya well anyways so now i have no car stereo....and no cd's except like 2 ya that freakin sucks so much. they also ripped the plastic covering off my dash board...dont know how to put that back and theres black stuff all over my back seat. thats real nice... and some of my information is missing out of my car. including a few of my pay stubs that i have forgotten to bring into my house after cashing my checks. so they have my social security number...maybe which is uhhh not good? welll to top that off i get to school and have a test. that i absolutely failed. no doubt. SWEET!!! ugh then the rest of the day is pretty boring but ok. i get home and get in another fight with my sister. she decided to change stereos with me while im at school. i dont really care because i was using hers while she was away at college. but is it too much to ask for her to wait til i get home?? instead of entering my room while im at school...and break my favorite headband....and throw my cds on the ground and throw MY stereo on the ground.???? yea HELLO U COULD HAVE FREAKING WAITED FOR ME!!!!!!! SINCE I HAVE PRETTY MUCH HAD THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE COULD U ATLEAST BE NICE TO ME FOR ONCE?????? she just got back two days ago and it already is hell. WOW THIS SUMMER IS GONNA ROCK. ya and to top EVERYTHING OFF I HAVE TO GO TO WORK UNTIL 9 AND NOT LISTEN TO MUSIC ON THE WAY AND WRITE AN EFFING ESSAY WHEN I GET HOME. THE ONLY HIGHLIGHT OF THIS DAY IS THAT I GET PAID.AND THAT I AM BUYING A NEW DOOR NOB THAT HAS A LOCK AND A KEY SO THAT I CAN LOCK HER OUT EVERY TIME I LEAVE. i thought people had more respect for other peoples belongings...but i guess not? YA ITS OK JUST STEAL MY STEREO THAT I BOUGHT MYSELF AND ALL MY GOOD CDS.... I CANT EVEN BUY A NEW ONE OR ANYTHING NOW BECAUSE IM SAVING UP FOR MY TRIP. I CANT WAIT TO LEAVE. SALDFJA;SLKFJS Current Mood:  angry | | Wednesday, May 11th, 2005 | | 3:17 pm |
damn baby all i need is a lil bit
so today was Stacy's BDAY!!!(18th) so Kelli and i brought her 25 balloons to school and had them delivered to her!! hahaha those were tuffies to handle especially driving...because im not that great of a driver anyways and when i cant see..damn it was bad. anyways so for every period we added something new to her wardrobe. 1st-a big party hat. 2nd-gold cat glasses. 3rd-a big fluffy pink neck thing. after that we ran out of things lol but anyways we decorated her car and it was soo awesome. her cake was yummy and man today was just a crazy ass funny day lol. tonight were going to her house for a bbq and we all get to dress up!!! fancy fancy. so for her present i got her a shot glass, a drink mixer and i am making her a party cd. (right now). brit has like 23242332 dollars in change so shes gonna come over and we get to put it into rolls!! im soooo excited... i know thats a really dumb thing to be excited about but i think its so fun lol. her moms gonna be here tonight.. so friday is when the real party begins. lol ERICA IS COMING HOME AHHHHHHHHHHH YESSSSS anyways..my sister came home from college last night! for like 4 months. but it will be fun!!! i wanna put some pictures on here but i dont know how:( lol someone should teach me. Joshua is such a little trickster!!! he says he has a suprise for me which is soooooo awesome cuz i love suprises but i dont even know when i get it!! thats how suprisish it is lol all i know about it is that it has to do with his quad...and where we went last weekend. and that was like all over his land. and he said he has to do work to be able to give me it and i get to eat my favorite food. I LOVE SUPRISES!!!! Current Mood:  lovedCurrent Music: 50 cent | | Thursday, May 5th, 2005 | | 3:27 pm |
when its cold outside... who are u holding
I'm so happy right now! ohhhhman so i was sick for awhile..but now im feeling better. (drinking chai tea) the best tea in the world besides bubble tea. not only that, i have the sweetest boyfriend in the world. yesss 6 months this weekend HEELLLL YAAA at the beginning of the year, i went through guys so quickly i didnt even think i would find anyone worth it but Joshua makes me happier than i have ever been...ever...i trust him enough to tickle my feet and thats a big deal to me. and yesterday he was over, and i was sick still so we just layed on the couch. and he told me how beautiful i was...which is hella weird cuz i had no makeup on and i was like sweating cuz i had a fever lol hes so AMAZINGLY CUTE when he falls asleep he says really weird things. a couple nights ago he started talking about traveling moms. it was so funny. gosh i love him. lol on another note... i worked stuff out with my best bud brit. im glad because for like 2 weeks we hadnt talked at all. we both dont really like know how to deal with stuff like that so we just give in and say whatever to the whole problem. ive known her since 1st grade. and we have changed so much. we used to play in her yard and make cakes out of mud and grass. isnt that sick? now we party and danced together and listen to country music in are cars. She's seriously one of the funnest people i know. i love her enough to play moose..while we drink mountain dew. lol (lame i know) AND she knows how to freestyle quite nicely. lol i love you britney bottle hands hahahaha Current Mood:  ditzyCurrent Music: Fall Out Boy | | Wednesday, May 4th, 2005 | | 9:26 pm |
I'm spoiled by your touch
AHH i dont know what to write again...i used to write so much lol ive been really sick lately:( so i havent gone to school i kinda feel out of the loop. but eh its just highschool its boring anyways. sunday is joshua and my 6th month!! thats half a year. i havent decided how to suprise him yet...but i'll think of something. i cant wait!! ERICA is coming home pretty soon here!!! and then im going to California to visit FIDM and go on vacation.....that will be hecka tight.SOOO my friend CAITLIN (crazy that she has the same name as me and she spells it good) SAYS HI and were going camping this summer with JOSH AND ADAM AND CAITLIN AND CAITLIN uhhh i cant wait like at all. its gonna be so fun! my first camping trip with no adults... its gonna be crazy lol and i feel really dumb for saying that. but OH WELL k..im out PEACE HOMZ Current Mood:  sleepyCurrent Music: Fall Out Boy | | Tuesday, April 26th, 2005 | | 9:10 pm |
my heart was wrapped up in clovers the night i looked at you
So. today. i went on a walk with my pups. and joshua lol it was tres fun..not anyways yea it was pretty cool. so josh and jeff started a gang.i guess they are pirates now so they want me to have a pirate flag on my car too. but i said...NO cuz thats just weird lol i dont have anything to say really. i just felt like updating my journal i guess. im going to LA this summer and im really excited AND IM GOING TO EUROPE IN NOVEMBER hellls ya ugh i dont know what to write lol PEACE OUT | | Tuesday, April 19th, 2005 | | 3:28 pm |
from corinnes entry cuz answering questions is fun!!!
A - Age you got your first kiss: 6th grade B - Band listening to right now: Akon C - Crush: JOSHUA of course E - Easiest person to talk to:joshua because he doesnt care if i say dumb things F - Favorite bands at the moment: 50 cent haha G - Gummy bears or gummy worms: gummy bears H - Hometown: Olympia I - Instruments: Flute...piano....french horn ahahahha K - Kids: One girl L - Longest car ride ever: Olympia to California M - Mom's name: Nancy N - Nicknames: Cait, Kit Kat, CAKE, caitster, delores O - One wish: i wish for friends not to have ended last year P - Phobia[s]: spiders, scary movies and any kind of bugs Q - Quote: "you dont know what you have until its gone" R - Reason to smile: EVERYTHING S - Song you sang last: Jennifer lopez- get right T - Time you woke up: 8:45 U - Unknown fact about me: i cry easily lol V - Vegetable you hate: green beans W - Worst habit(s) puting things off. X - X-rays you've had: teeth,ankle,wrist Y - Yummy food:OLD SCHOOL PIZZA AND CHIANG MAI Z - Zodiac sign: AQUARIUS | | Monday, April 18th, 2005 | | 3:38 pm |
ya dont know
I haven't written in here forever!! it feels weird...anyways ive always thought of myself as a pretty straight forward person. i always can tell people what i think and i ALWAYS stand up for myself. i never would have thought that there could be someone who could make me feel so low about myself. i cant even talk to her about it because i dont know what to say. i dont know what it is but every time she treats me bad, i just let it slide. maybe i would just rather have things be ok. but im sick of this and this time. im not just gonna say things are ok because if she thinks its ok to say that stuff about me...things arent ok. Current Mood:  calmCurrent Music: mariah carey | | Saturday, April 2nd, 2005 | | 8:33 am |
"HOTT FIRE SAUCE"
so yesterday was interesting. first....britney came over B-UNIT!!! and we got ready to hit the road. we met keira at thriftway. hopped in her helllllla tight car. we listened to rap from like freshman year!!! YESSSSSS it was so good. we went to eagans to visit jessica and jordan (are awesome friends that work there) i got a cheeseburger and a coke. i took my cup into the bathroom to add some crunk juice to it... so i was standing there doing it when this lady opens the bathroom door and i was like uhh excuse me and she like doesnt try to leave shes just like ohhh hello and i was like uhh im in here right now and she was like ok then she shut the door. i mean what the eff!!! what if i was like peeing or something. so anyways then... we went to taco bell cuz brit wanted a burrito. WE MADE KEIRA TALK IN A HALF BRITISH HALF AMERICAN VOICE. she mixed in some asian talk into that too. it was so good. then they asked if we wanted hot mild or fire sauce and she was like .HOTTTTFIRE and the lady was like uhhh really confused. and we wanted a beef burrito and she kept thinking we were saying bean so keira was like BEEEEEEEEEF and finally...we got it but it wasnt 99 cents. like its suppose to be so we ordered a different one. they were hella pissed at us:( so then we went to albertsons.(where i work) and i bought a big soda pop...cuz i drank my other one. so then we went to visit CHI CHI at dirty daves. then we peed.then we went out to this "party" in lacey...it was divante and a bunch of his friends. we met them at this school and they dont drive so they wanted to get in are car and we were like oh sorry its too messy so we made them walk back to the apartment. then it was like so creepy...kiera and i were walking up to the door so i could pee and it was all dark inside and shit and then we heard a car back fire and i thought they shot at us. then we went back to dirty daves to get chi. and we went to nicks house. we hung out there for like 20 minutes. then we decided it was time to go home. so i came home, and told my mom brit was sick cuz she like is. that was all before 10:30 lol so i went to bed at 11.and now its like 8 and i am awake as ever!!!!! IVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS TIME OF THE MONTH EVER...tonight should be fun. were gonna hit up this HUGE partayyyy.so maybe it will be hooked up. today i feel really sick and im so hungry i dont know what to eat tho. im waiting for joshua to call me back...well thats about it. for last night. britney wants to transfer to avanti. i really dont know what i would do without her at my school. we always have all are classes together:( and i dont want that to change. i would not survive with her not at school with me! i mean i know we will still see eachother like every day and she said she would come to see me at lunch every day but it wouldnt be the same at all. i really hope she doesnt leave me!!:( Current Mood:  hungryCurrent Music: Ashlee Simpson | | Monday, March 28th, 2005 | | 8:50 pm |
I MISS SCHOUVI
JESS i miss you so much!! we havent hung out in like 123423423 years...so ive decided were going to. we both are talking about going on dates with our hott sexy men. but now we should go on a date. but not like that kind of date...u know. lol we can watch movies and go in your hot tub and then go to the chang mai and eat some really good asian food. i just know that we need to spend time together soon because we have grown apart and i dont like it:( SO SOON WE WILL...... I WANT U TO KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU DARLIN  Current Mood: accomplishedCurrent Music: rascal flatts | | 3:26 pm |
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hellokittster's journal
im so happy lately. i finally figured out what matters to me. i love my friends so much! and i love joshua...who is more than a friend:) im just glad that i figured out a way to be happy with both things in my life. and it is like the best thing ever.theres some stuff going on in my life that would normally bother me. but it doesnt because i decided to only care about the stuff that i can control..i cant control how other people want to treat people. im just really glad because i have everything that matters to me. and to evan- im sorry for yelling at u:( I CANT WAIT FOR TOMORROW!!!!
ecstatic